AN ‪#‎INDIE‬ DJ'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
(Compiled entirely in good fun)

Step 1: Buy a lifetime supply of shitty, solid color t-shirts.

Step 2: Stretch out the shirt collar in a tug-of-war fight with your sister, so that when you put the shirt on, it reveals 6+ inches deep of your naked chest. A simple V-neck is not sufficient.

Step 3: Smoke tons of cigarettes indoors, ideally in a poorly ventilated room.

Step 4: Make sure no one is on the dancefloor. Everyone must be on stage with you. The dancefloor is only for Newbies.

Step 5: Triangles. They must be on your flyer. And on your logo. And everywhere.

Step 6: Even if it's your favorite song ever, if it hits Beatport top 100, do not ever play it again. Don't forget to delete all past sets on Soundcloud that contain said song.

Step 7: Resident Advisor must sell all your tickets. Do not ever use another ticket outlet ever.

Step 8: There is no such thing as accepting too many gigs in one week. Spacing out performances to manage market demand is for irrelevant, old school DJs.

Step 9: Always remember to look entirely disinterested. Giving a shit is for the common folk.

Step 10: Have no clue who Masters at Work or Frankie Knuckles are. But, know who Doc Martin & DJ Sneak are, because they played at Sound that one time. And Derrick Carter.. cuz Hitler (search "Hitler Finds Out About Deep House" on Youtube)

DISCLAIMER: The above was written entirely in good fun & sarcastic jest. If you don't know me that well, there's one thing you should know about me -- I poke fun at those I love MOST. This was intended to make you laugh, not to make you angry. 😘
121 likes
  • adamauburnAN ‪#‎INDIE‬ DJ'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
    (Compiled entirely in good fun)

    Step 1: Buy a lifetime supply of shitty, solid color t-shirts.

    Step 2: Stretch out the shirt collar in a tug-of-war fight with your sister, so that when you put the shirt on, it reveals 6+ inches deep of your naked chest. A simple V-neck is not sufficient.

    Step 3: Smoke tons of cigarettes indoors, ideally in a poorly ventilated room.

    Step 4: Make sure no one is on the dancefloor. Everyone must be on stage with you. The dancefloor is only for Newbies.

    Step 5: Triangles. They must be on your flyer. And on your logo. And everywhere.

    Step 6: Even if it's your favorite song ever, if it hits Beatport top 100, do not ever play it again. Don't forget to delete all past sets on Soundcloud that contain said song.

    Step 7: Resident Advisor must sell all your tickets. Do not ever use another ticket outlet ever.

    Step 8: There is no such thing as accepting too many gigs in one week. Spacing out performances to manage market demand is for irrelevant, old school DJs.

    Step 9: Always remember to look entirely disinterested. Giving a shit is for the common folk.

    Step 10: Have no clue who Masters at Work or Frankie Knuckles are. But, know who Doc Martin & DJ Sneak are, because they played at Sound that one time. And Derrick Carter.. cuz Hitler (search "Hitler Finds Out About Deep House" on Youtube)

    DISCLAIMER: The above was written entirely in good fun & sarcastic jest. If you don't know me that well, there's one thing you should know about me -- I poke fun at those I love MOST. This was intended to make you laugh, not to make you angry. 😘

  • countconoroff@saeed_younan Lol
  • ddeafnerHahaha nice! @valleychica
  • chrissyyfittAmazing
  • andycaldwellDuuuuude!!!! This is awesome!!!!!
  • chrissyyfittNumber 3
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