I have been asked to describe how meditation has affected my anxiety issues so here we go. I was diagnosed with purely obsessive compulsive disorder seven years ago and was prescribed SSRI's. I never took them. It was intuitive, it felt like a mental lobotomy. I refused to accept such a reality. So I struggled for about a year, shit was really weird, when the mind gets so loud, it can drown out the communications from reality. I was obsessed with the idea that I was going to lose my mind. I had an irrational fear of going crazy and it was all I could think about. 24/7. All day. Everyday. I would wake up and after about ten minutes my stomach would be fixed into a permanent knot. For some reason my mental alarm would not turn off. Every single experience of my life was tagged on with the question at the end. So am I crazy? For some reason, overnight, a switch flipped in my head and life became one big scary question, am I crazy? Meditation was the only thing that worked. The type of meditation described in mindfulness traditions. "Running into reality" "running into your fears" those types of practices worked for me. I had to explore all my fears and get to know them so well that I can understand. Understanding is a key. End of part 1. #OCD
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