bethstellingSame girl in all of these photos (me). I've had an amazing year and you've seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point. There are many reasons not to make an abusive relationship public, mostly fear. Scared of what people will think, scared it makes me look weak or unprofessional.
When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn't because I didn't love him, it was because of this. And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn’t have, but there are no “best practices” with this. When friends or comics ask why we broke up it's not easy or comfortable to reply; it doesn't seem like the appropriate thing to say at a stand-up show, a party or a wedding. It's embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It's not simple.
After I broke up with him he said, "You're very open and honest in your stand-up, and I just ask that you consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you're talking about." And I abided. I wrote vague jokes because we both live in L.A. and I didn't want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family. I wanted to move on and forget because I didn’t understand. I don't want revenge or to hurt him now, but it's unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It's how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I've always been; I make dark, funny.
So now I'm allowing this to be part of my story. It's not my only story, so please don't let it be. If you live in L.A., you've already started to hear my jokes about this and I ask you to have the courage to listen and accept it because I’m trying. Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity.
An ex-girlfriend of this ex-boyfriend came to me and shared that she experienced the same fate. Then there was another and another (men and women) who shared other injustices at his hand that..
- titigr13Thanks for the sharing.you are really brave.adore you
- xn70Thank you for being strong enough to share this. You're powerful and brave.
- joyous_rockzThank you for sharing this, I was in an abusive situation before selfies were a thing and taking instantaneous pics non existent I think if I had any photos I probably wouldn't have stayed longer than I did, the only scars left are those unseen.
- benjirosenzweigThank you for sharing this
- em.chenListening to you on "2 Dope Queens" and then decided to google your name. A news article about this showed up so I searched for your Instagram post. You speak so casually about your ex, considering everything you've endured with him. I commend you for being so strong and using your status as a voice for other relationship abuse victims. I hope you've found peace and safety away from him.
- ashleyshereenoGod bless you for sharing. I'm so sorry about what you went through. Props to you for adding it in your shows, even though it must be painful. You go girl!
- hilife_jennCourage sis
- madame.ameliaGod bless your life!!!! You is a beautiful and precisous woman!!! 🎀🌹🙏🏾😘
- sara_linden_Take care ❤️💙💛
- joachimkroThere was a mentioning in a online news channel, so I found this. I ask myself, why you have allowed this treatment more then one time. You are not alone with your situation and again and again independent people stay there and let them hurt. You should have cut relationship after the first repetition and announce that after first abuse! Nobody should be allowed repeatative abuse and you are not his first victim, so go to the police and let them try to stop him. No excuse any more! I am a men, by the way.
- joannahertel🙏 thank you for sharing and being open and giving women the courage to speak up
- suzzzy89Thank you for sharing. The more public persons speak up the more we help and empower those who "stay" in such a situation. People who ask why did you stay, ..they only speak out of theory.
- chast55Thank you. I appreciate your courage and willingness to expose your abuse. My daughter was also a victim, healing is difficult (mentally and physically), but it is possible. Thank you for sharing.
- annsuraThank you! I wish I was as brave and strong as you to tell someone ❤️👏🏼
- songbird16206084That is the epitome of strong, thank you for being so brave many of us know that pain well. But sometimes you get lucky and find that right one who makes you feel as special as you should feel. You're awesome.
- procammedia1A woman stabbed me .. but no one cares she laughed with the police. I feel your pain
- sparklylittlechickenThank you for sharing this. ❤️
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