pftompkins"That's right. Almighty God bought me this luxury automobile in exchange for sexual favors. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I don't actually walk, because I had sex with God and He gave me a car. And a tennis bracelet." - Leviteronomy 12:19
- the_purple_fabuloso@sammiesam79 ahahahahaha
- houseinfiniteMaybe she was referring to that weird caramel-rectangle-on-a-stick? No, I'm sorry, you're right: that would be absurd.
- hughdefranceThat's some deep apocryphal shit!
- jordansonofstevenI've spent the last ten min trying to figure out this vanity plate.
- justinewing23Funniest thing I have ever read.
- onlycatsandfood@kat_mcphee is this you?
- justiclestkNobody brings joy to my day quite like you sir. Thank you for existing.
- buddhacatcultHa! @kittenface
- kat_mcphee@onlycatsandfood yep! You don't wanna know what He wanted me to do for the Benz.
- pulmyearsThis wins god's Internet @pftompkins
- psfitzIt's a little known fact that Jesus and the disciples all had Segways.
- mmmmpieThe tennis bracelet is a bit hackneyed. God needs to step up his game.
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