Right. So. Nothing is going to top yesterday’s pond water shenanigans, but what I do have for you is the ride we just took with a mother and her very young daughter on the tube wherein the mother would not have noticed if the daughter had at any point stripped nude. For over nine straight stops. She was that zoned out. And after the daughter swung from the handrail in her bare feet and missed my face with her knees by a few inches she turned around, sneezed open-mouthed on the window and then—no joke—took her right hand and proceeded to make a pizza dough on the window out of her sneeze jizz. I had no idea what the protocol was here in terms of reacting to this so when the child turned to look at me I smiled, gave a thumbs up, and mouthed, “Good job!”
