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- nishamoodleySince the moment he was born, we've always asked before we pick him up. I always feel for his "yes". Why? Because we want him to know that his body is his, and that others' bodies are theirs, and no one gets to make choices about someone else's body.
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#lessonsinsovereignty
#bornfree
#endrapeculture
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Sidenote:
If you ever want to hold someone else's baby, my suggestion is to ask the parent, then ask the kid. It always touches my heart when someone takes a moment to connect with him and says "Can I hold you, dude?"
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ADDENDUM: Thanks to everyone who has shared support & also those who don't agree, but are thoughtful & respectful. Unfortunately, hundreds of people have come here to call me nasty names & wish terrible things upon myself & my child. I'm not interested in engaging with that kind of immature, thoughtless vitriol; if you bring it, I will report + delete. I pray we learn to meet our fellow humans w/ curiosity & kindness.
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This short post was followed by a 10 min interview with a very kind reporter, which was turned into a short article. It wasn't designed to be a piece of in-depth journalism. Most media isn't. A whole bunch of other media spun-off from that. I have spoken w/ no other reporters; no one has asked me questions or checked facts.
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Some have assumed that I'd never touch my baby w/out his explicit consent. That's not what I'm saying. I love my son - I would never sit back & leave him in harm’s way. It’s my honor & responsibility to care for him in all the ways a mother would.
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I also talk to him, ask him questions, and “attune” to him in the way that I think the majority of mothers do, intuitively. This is the beginning of a lifelong conversation about choice & consent. I believe that when children feel that they have *some appropriate* choice, it leads to a greater sense of healthy autonomy. I want him to make healthy choices with his body & respects others’ as well.
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I am by no means saying that people are bad parents for not doing what I do. So long as we're not harming or neglecting our children, to each their own. I'm not a perfect parent. I'm simply working at being as loving & conscientious as I can be, every day. - nishamoodley@nadiadeamaria I don't know. So when he's older, if he asks me not to post or to remove pics, I will :)
- nadiadeamaria@nishamoodley yes, you'll figure it out. Anyway, it's a great approach! So respectful. Much love to you and your family đź’śđź’śđź’ś
- animafragileafThis is awesome! No one should tell you how to raise your own child! ❤️
- neoculturekibumthis makes no sense
- mindful_freedomLessons in consent are wonderful. The amount of criticism, much of which is the opposite of constructive, is really unfortunate
- thelaurelmaidenSo beautiful Mama ❤
- ricardomcrae@nishanoodley You are the best!!! and 100% right. Little people have the right to decide who picks them up and who they hug. My wife and I do the same thing with our little man. Sometimes I ask him for a hug and he does not want to and then they are nights like tonight where my wife has to facetime me at the office because he has to say goodnight to me before he goes to bed.
I love seeing his little personality develop and by the looks of things you little bundle of sweetness is doing amazing as well.
Here's to building a future where little people can exercise their full range of emotions and autonomy over their bodies and love. <3 from a dad in #Canada - nishamoodley@laurenwardellvitality I reported. xo
- lexunfilteredYou're amazing. As a FTM I love this approach. I definitely want to give my child ownership of her own body. Thanks for this lesson. Xo
- iamniasymone_My mother always said before we knew what respect was she gave it to us. This is what you're doing and it's awesome! I am a compassionate and respectful woman who wouldn't be this way if my mother hadn't honored and respected me from day one. Blessings to you all.
- nishamoodley@iamniasymone_ I love that story. Thank you for sharing!
- fullhouse64Many parents can know when their baby wants to be picked up and I think that's what you are saying. I don't think you're saying that we shouldn't pick our babies up even when they cannot give consent, which is why some people might be mad if they think you are saying we should not touch our babies. Also, I am glad that you said you are not judging or saying that everyone should follow this or any parenting plan. Some might take this the wrong way as a "my way is the best way" kind of thing. As long as parents don't neglect their babies and care after them in the best way they can, then you're doing good for your family. There are so many ways to raise good and respectful people, do what you think is best.
- nishamoodley@fullhouse64 Thank you, and yes.
- ithriveoutsideInteresting idea. I assume he also consents to the publicity of his life on your social media?
- nishamoodley@ithriveoutside Hi :) I can't get agreement for everything, as you know. He's 6 months old :) I ask and "attune" to him out of respect, but I do sense that most parents do some version of this anyways. And when he's older, if he doesn't want pics up, I'll take them down. What are your plans with your kids' pics?
- ithriveoutside@nishamoodley I'll typically ask them if it's ok with them if I share a particular picture, and try to help them understand what it means to have a picture out there on the internet. They know they can ask to have any (or all) of them taken down. We're kind of transitioning away from social media anyway (dropped Facebook in January) as it just doesn't seem all that healthy.
- nishamoodley@ithriveoutside It is most definitely a lot to contend with :)
- bellasol1He looks like a Happy Baby! That's great that you're respecting his space!đź‘Śđź‘Ť
- ujorgeDid you also teach your son to ask for your permission when he wants to hug you?
- marklscarbsTaking things a bit far. A baby needs, as a matter of survival, touch and interaction. Babies without that can die, even if fed well. Suggesting a newborn baby knows what's best for them is ludicrous. Sure once they get older than boundaries should exist.