It has been almost, what? 7 months since the Lord put me in the season of growth. I remember thinking about this day to come. A few days after the incident - I was asking will I come through? How will I be in 6 mos or in a year? When will I heal? This was by far the hardest emotional trial I have been, because I was so ready to build a family of my own. I have plans, but God had a different one for me. 
Honestly, I've been very bitter, all I can think about is that "it's his fault", until lovingly God gave me a mirror to look on my mistakes as well, rather than focusing on just one side of the story. Little by little with God's grace, I shifted my focus to - my insecurities, my untamed tongue and emotions, my unwillingness to communicate, my pride, my controlling nature and oh so much more - it was hard to admit, let alone face them, that they contributed to the wilt of the relationship.

You know, I am blessed God plucked me out if the relationship before I can do any more damage. Looking back, I realized that, I too, was not ready for a bigger responsibility of a family - I don't even know how to do laundry, how to budget my finances upon addition of legit bills, let alone know when fish, fruit, meat and veggies are fresh. I have no idea how to make a home.

Everyday was a process of how will you grow and mature, with God's pruning.  I'm sharing this not to say I am more of the person than the other, I'm not - I may actually be worse, but you know God's grace is sufficient to change to the person He sees you to be. And when I left everything at God's hands, He gave me everything I needed and much more. Happy SONday. 😊
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  • trnsfrmdbygraceIt has been almost, what? 7 months since the Lord put me in the season of growth. I remember thinking about this day to come. A few days after the incident - I was asking will I come through? How will I be in 6 mos or in a year? When will I heal? This was by far the hardest emotional trial I have been, because I was so ready to build a family of my own. I have plans, but God had a different one for me.
    Honestly, I've been very bitter, all I can think about is that "it's his fault", until lovingly God gave me a mirror to look on my mistakes as well, rather than focusing on just one side of the story. Little by little with God's grace, I shifted my focus to - my insecurities, my untamed tongue and emotions, my unwillingness to communicate, my pride, my controlling nature and oh so much more - it was hard to admit, let alone face them, that they contributed to the wilt of the relationship.

    You know, I am blessed God plucked me out if the relationship before I can do any more damage. Looking back, I realized that, I too, was not ready for a bigger responsibility of a family - I don't even know how to do laundry, how to budget my finances upon addition of legit bills, let alone know when fish, fruit, meat and veggies are fresh. I have no idea how to make a home.

    Everyday was a process of how will you grow and mature, with God's pruning. I'm sharing this not to say I am more of the person than the other, I'm not - I may actually be worse, but you know God's grace is sufficient to change to the person He sees you to be. And when I left everything at God's hands, He gave me everything I needed and much more. Happy SONday. 😊
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