TW: depression, anxiety, self-harm and feeling suicidal.

OK guys. This is a hard one for me to talk about. Let alone put out there. But in doing so I hope I can encourage others to be mindful of people in the same situation and keep the conversation of mental health going.

This photo was taken the morning after the night before. I had an anxiety attack which lead to self-harming which then lead to feeling suicidal. I was so close to doing some real harm to myself. 
There was no trigger. All of a sudden I felt completely worthless and that the world would not miss me if I left it. I've been in similair instances before but this time was different. Before, I've always managed to talk myself round. But not last night.

I spent the night sobbing uncontrollably. Harming myself and wanting to take it up a level. Nothing could console me. I began vomiting and feeling nauseous. I started feeling like I was going to pass out.

Fortunately, I decided to ring the Samaritans. I will be forever beyond grateful for the amazing person I spoke to. He saved me.  Our call got cut off which is really hurting me today. I wasn't able to thank him for what he did for me. I hope that one day I will be able to.

I felt like I had no worth and their was no point in my life. But it wasn't actually ME thinking that. It was my illness poisoning my mind.

Please always know that you are worth so much and are loved by so many people. It's OK to have breakdowns sometimes. You're only human. But remember that there is ALWAYS someone out there who would do anything to help you.

#depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #itsoknottobeok
395 likes
  • iamleyahshanksTW: depression, anxiety, self-harm and feeling suicidal.

    OK guys. This is a hard one for me to talk about. Let alone put out there. But in doing so I hope I can encourage others to be mindful of people in the same situation and keep the conversation of mental health going.

    This photo was taken the morning after the night before. I had an anxiety attack which lead to self-harming which then lead to feeling suicidal. I was so close to doing some real harm to myself.
    There was no trigger. All of a sudden I felt completely worthless and that the world would not miss me if I left it. I've been in similair instances before but this time was different. Before, I've always managed to talk myself round. But not last night.

    I spent the night sobbing uncontrollably. Harming myself and wanting to take it up a level. Nothing could console me. I began vomiting and feeling nauseous. I started feeling like I was going to pass out.

    Fortunately, I decided to ring the Samaritans. I will be forever beyond grateful for the amazing person I spoke to. He saved me. Our call got cut off which is really hurting me today. I wasn't able to thank him for what he did for me. I hope that one day I will be able to.

    I felt like I had no worth and their was no point in my life. But it wasn't actually ME thinking that. It was my illness poisoning my mind.

    Please always know that you are worth so much and are loved by so many people. It's OK to have breakdowns sometimes. You're only human. But remember that there is ALWAYS someone out there who would do anything to help you.

    #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #itsoknottobeok

  • un.apologetically.meSo much love for you ❤ It is such a hard place to be in and you come through it again. This too shall pass.
  • longnamegirlYou are stronger than you know for not only making that call when you knew it could get worse, but being so open and honest about it. I know sometimes it's hard to remember our worth (I've been there, so this isn't just lip service) but if you're feeling down I hope you take all of these comments and well-wishes to heart because you matter tremendously and are loved by so many who don't even know you irl 💖
  • the_all_dolled_up_pageSending love and hugs
  • cmschopierayI'm so, so glad you're here. Sending lots of long distance cosmic energy love hugs.
  • insanely_amyOh honey, I'm so glad you were able to talk to someone. I'm sorry you got cut off from that angel, but you're here, aren't you? So whatever they told you was tremendously effective. Thank the gods! And we need you. We need you here. We want you here. I know this feeling, all too well, but being on the other side of it right now, I can promise you you'll get here, too. You know this. Hang on. Hold on tight. :::hugs::: ❤️
  • just.lizardsSending so much love to you 💕 You are beyond brave for sharing this. So glad that you had the strength in you to talk to someone last night. The world does need you and you are so loved xx
  • kay_joyce29Thank you for posting this. Just had one of those nights a few days ago. So glad you stayed strong. You matter in this world.
  • drwatson_523You are not nothing. I'm glad you're still here.
  • amazonia84Sending you love and strength. You are incredible for always being so transparent, even with the tough issues. You are a lift and light to the world. Much love, darling! 😙
  • elkeiscoolSending lots of love your way ❤
  • pdavis.pa3Such a prity lady y so sad xx
  • last_pharaoh_akI got this feeling 9 years ago no drugs or alcohol helped it helped maybe temporary but after I wake up it become worst then I started to work out and went to gym also I started to help others that depression thing is gone now even when it comes it's not strong like before
  • last_pharaoh_akTake care and be save maybe I don't know you at all but I like you alot and I don't know why ? 😍
  • marcosyvelasantestebanDon t be sad beautifull:)
  • poppinreginaYou're truly amazing. This is very inspiring. Keep fighting, gorgeous. ❤
  • xo_chrisse👏
  • thelegitpitsI read your posts every day. My life would be lesser without you in it, and I've never even met you! ❤
  • thetrufflelover@iamleyahshanks Aww hon ❤
  • dorgi3Best wishes to you @iamleyahshanks After the darkness comes the light
  • chrissyy1990Mental illness sucks. I hope next time you have a moment like this you rememver that the world would absolutely be incomplete without you ❤ sending love & light xxx
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