As I was making dinner, I was sort of half paying attention, half lost in my own head, going over the things I accomplished today and the things I wanted to accomplish but didn't get to. Without realizing it, I started listing off the people in my head I was "letting down" by not getting these things done sooner. ⠀
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"Well, so and so needs to go out of town next week so she would have rather had that by today... Jason asked me for those project assets yesterday... I really should make more time for x friend." Pretty soon, without realizing it, my thoughts had become consumed by all the things I wasn't able to get to, and all the people that would be disappointed due to me. ⠀
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Thankfully I had the good sense to stop myself in my tracks and suddenly I had this radical thought: What if, as an experiment, I'm no longer allowed to think about letting anyone down. What if I really do just cut myself a break but... make that the default instead of this negative self-talk BS about not being more this or that for anyone. Even writing that down it sounds kind of radical to me. My inner critic says it's selfish. And lazy. But that's just the fear talking (and probably some cultural gender norms too, if I dig deeper.) ⠀
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How much more peace might I invite into my life by simply acknowledging how much I'm TRYING. And how much you are too. ⠀
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Even if you are having a hard time saying it to yourself, I'll say it for you: You're doing a BANG UP job at this thing called life, all things considered. You're trying. And that's a lot. ⠀
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