randi.buckleyTime and time again I saw that my clients were placing being kind over having boundaries. But they weren't, they were being "nice" and that's a big difference. They were foregoing boundaries because how they'd seen boundaries looked unkind, sometimes even nasty. They'd seen them done poorly and in ways they did not want to become. Some had never seen boundaries at all, nor did they know that could have them.
What people aren't taught, or don't know, is that boundaries are an act of kindness. The trick is implementing them this way and addressing the rip tides of our minds- the undercurrents of why we feel unworthy of them. It's not simply about fancy ways of saying "no". It's understanding how your boundaries can serve as the infrastructure to create the life and world you want to live within.
It's less about keeping things out, than inviting what you want in.
It's about understanding how boundaries are like a muscle, like a garden, and like a spine.
It's understanding that boundaries are your values in action, and knowing how to create that action through your boundaries.
It's knowing that people pleasing actually undermines kindness.
It's also learning that boundaries might mean something different than you think it means.
It's tricky work as it pulls at our deepest fears. It's like we're swimming in an ocean of possibility but rip tide pulls us under. Again.
But we'll change this. I'll give you new ways of thinking about this. I'll help you find ways out of the five reasons boundaries are so tricky, and I'll teach you to implement my Metaphor Methodology. And so much more.
This work was borne out of the need I saw in my clients and became a love letter to my sister. That's how I approach it today, still. We do it with compassion, warmth, humor, and a community of some of the finest souls there are.
You are invited to join us. Healthy Boundaries for Kind People is a three-month, online course that can fundamentally change your life.
We start tomorrow and there is still time to join us for the 2017 session. If you are in need of healthy boundaries, I hope you will.
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