~sensitive~ Life update.

Today was a really, really shit day. I had conferences with my three core teachers for the acting program I am in to chat about my progress as an actor, and it didn't go as well as I thought it would. I don't want to get into too many details, but all I will say is that I am so frustrated with myself, and so frustrated with them as well. I'm not progressing. I feel like they don't understand what I'm going through, and no one does.

I hope that I'll be able to at least prove to them i deserve to be in this program, that acting is my passion, that i DO want to be here. improve this last few months before second year ends. My conference took longer than usual cause I swear I took half of that time just trying to catch my breath between hyperventilating. I wanted to hurt myself somehow afterwards, but instead i called my mother, seeking some comfort and hopefully some nurture. 
The rest of my day felt really blue, and I still went to class that afternoon despite not having the emotional energy for it. 
But when everything else fails, I know that going on a run really helps detach from my life. In a way it is a metaphor for running away from my problems, running away from my life, escaping from everything that is bomboarding me, every one that is demanding something from me, and sometimes I even run from the demands that I put on myself.

Because just for that run, I am able to focus on nothing else but escaping and being one with the wind as my feet hit the pavement. 
For that moment I am free.

Do you run? And if so, why do you run? What do you do when you're feeling so sad and so angry with yourself? God bless, I hope you're having better days. •
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