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  • waitingforbabybird{Tuesday Night Fertility Chat}There is such a presence of those going through infertility in the instagram world that we thought it would be fun to have a late night chat about a topic that 1 in 8 can relate to. This is ​a time to talk about all things related to fertility - the good, the bad, and everything in between. I have teamed up with @trustinginduetime and some amazing women to create a designated space that allows us to do just that every 1st and 3rd Tuesday!
    Want to co-host a future chat? Participate by following the 3 steps below and you might get picked for the next chat! Thanks for joining our #TuesdayNightFertilityChat
    1. FOLLOW me @waitingforbabybird and ALL ladies in the chat.
    2. POST your answer to the questions in the comments below.
    3. CLICK on the photo to go to the next question. Once you get back to me, you have completed the chat loop.

    QUESTION: Today I read an article called, “21 Secrets an Infertile Won’t Tell You,” and friends, I could only relate to (maybe) three. In fact, one secret was that an infertile was happy that she turned out to be infertile. Say what?! Not.Me. Therefore my question tonight for you is this: Do you have secrets regarding your struggle with infertility? And if so, would you feel comfortable sharing it below? (Example: I skip church when there is a baby dedication because it’s like pouring salt into my open wound.) ANSWER: PCOS (specifically the unwanted facial hair, excess sweat, and increase in weight around only my midsection) makes me feel ugly. Almost to the point where I don't want to leave the house.

  • erikaendowarrior@danielle_kubik12 This is me right now. 6 pregnancy announcements since Thanksgiving. I wish there was a pregnancy filter I could turn off on my newsfeed 😝
  • c.eliza.h.wendell@waitingforbabybird thank you so very much for having this forum❤ what a healing way to openly share with others. To everyone who has shared - I feel as though I too have felt every single one of these feelings. It is so overwhelming of a burden to bare sometimes. Through 10 years TTC diagnosed with unexplained infertility and recurrent miscarriage, having lost five babies to heaven all before 12 weeks, I have never felt so alone, ashamed, grief stricken and embarrassed that I could not hold onto a pregnancy. The Lord saw my heart, and through a miracle, put us on a journey we did not see coming - we adopted a baby boy through an amazingly private adoption and we praise Him! I do want to share that God took away the pain on my scarred, torn, empty heart and filled it with love. You know I just shared this story with a friend who put it on her blog that encourages women (the link is in my bio if you really want the details) ❤my heart will forever be with all you ladies and I hear you.
  • meant4morebabiesMy secret is that I just don't feel like I fit into a certain "group" I had a successful ivf 5 yrs ago and was blessed with my miracle little boy. But the last two yr trying for baby #2 have been a nightmare. I don't fit into normal fertile mommy world because clearly I can't get pregnant on my own or even with ivf anymore, but I don't fit in sometimes in this community because I already have a child. Trust me I get it. Before I had my son I would have wanted to punch someone with a kid already. But the struggle of infertility I feel like will never really go away. It controls me and I'm working on that everyday.
  • danielle_kubik12@erikaendowarrior it's terrible because a baby is such a miracle, but it's the worst feeling for all of us.
  • journeytoconceiverainbowsWow! I scrolled thru and read each comment above and each one I was like, yup! That's me! I think for me, my major thing has been struggling with being angry at God.. the "why did you take my babies?" "What did I do to deserve Infertility?" "Why me?" - I've learned God has big shoulders and I can pour my heart out but holidays, anniversaries of losing my Angels and when I see people I don't feel deserve more children (I know it's not my place to Judge) I find myself questioning Him.
  • ryannenikoleSecrets....I think I'm pretty open with the people that count. But for the longest time I struggled with this fear that I would never get beyond this and be a mom. I am slowly conquering that fear, but it took a long time to get here.
  • saracmcoxOne biggie for me is that I have a fear that I have not "earned my stripes" so to speak, to really talk about our infertility journey. I see all you women that have been ttc for 5+ years and I am so encouraged yet at the same time I feel like I am not worthy to be in your circle. We have only been ttc for 1 year and while that feels like a hundred years to me, it looks like days to others. when I hear how long others have waited I want to slap myself for feeling like we are even on the same playing field. I guess I am scared to talk about being on this journey because what if I get pregnant this month? Then all my worrying and hurt will be for nothing. All of this does hurt though. How to face this monster with confidence is the hardest part about it. God will give me strength and answers I need.
  • elizamajorI work in a lab, and I struggle when we get the newborns who have like 3 siblings, and the young drug addict pregnant ladies in for blood draws. I've been getting better but there are some days when I just can't deal with it.
  • melissapvenable@kandicehunt I do this too. I think to myself "so naive!" And realize how cynical infertility has made me. Then kick myself for thinking that because they'll probably get pregnant on the honeymoon... 🙄
  • meant4morebabies@elizamajor I totally understand! I was an L&D nurse and I ended up leaving because it was too hard to devolved drug babies and parents 8th kid when half are in CPS custody!
  • jenniferbrandlerhesse@waitingforbabybird and @trustinginduetime This is such an awesome idea, well done ladies! 👏 Will catch up on comments later, and for sure share about this forum w/ the support group I facilitate. Thank you for all you do in the #ttc community!
  • wohinderwegunsfuehrt(As I live in Europe my answer comes a bit late): Infertility made me feel so lonely. I avoid friends who are pregnant and even newlyweeds because I already see them being pregnant in a short while
  • alich765I've been reading through these and can agree with almost all of them. I think my secret is that I've convinced myself that my infertility is because I'm going to be a bad mom. So when we're trying I'm basically afraid to try bec what if I turn out to be a terrible mom. If our lives aren't perfect or "ready" I panic and feel like we should stop trying. Also... I feel guilty. Oh my god sooooo guilty. See I have two step sons, who I love as much as I can imagine loving. But my heart aches for a baby of my own. My husband wants to try and our family is supportive but I know a baby will rock our relatively settled world... what if something goes wrong and it's all because I wanted a baby? 😔😞
  • itallbeganwithpaint2@saracmcox I so get you! We are at 2 1/2 years ttc and with the diagnosis we received probably not getting out of this journey any time soon...but I remember around a year, emailing @waitingforbabybird and mentioning this exact thing in my email...her response was "I don't play the pain Olympics
  • itallbeganwithpaint2@saracmcox sorry the last one wasn't done yet :) that has stuck with me! It is so painful wherever we are in our journey. Satan loves to see us playing the comparison game...to make us feel alone and invalidated... when you long for a baby, one year is hard too! Hugs! And don't be afraid to speak out with trusted people. I was. And it was only after my husband convinced me it wasn't shameful to let others know but instead was enlisting more prayer warriors on our behalf, and I vegan to open up that I realized the blessing and support of community that I was missing by keeping myself alone. That said, I still have many days I feel so alone, but when I humble myself to ask those trusted people for prayer, I'm amazed at the difference!
  • saracmcox@itallbeganwithpaint2 Thank you so much! Love what you said about "Satan loves to see us playing comparison game!" I can try to approach this fear a new way to combat Satan and not my feelings! Even though I am sure that everyday won't be easy, but we have faith and are determined! 😊
  • b__l__eI belong to a secret fb page for if - and it is flooded with pregnant women and mothers who were on the same journey. I get upset every time someone posts "don't give up posts" with a pic of there kid. It falls just short of a humble-brag and for me it is salt in the wounds.
  • siriousleeI'm a hairstylist in a very family oriented family salon. I'm the only one without children. The girls bring their babies in every day and although I love every single one of them, It makes my days extremely hard to get through seeing babies all day long. Also, being with a group of women all day everyday, you would be surprised at how often the talk of pregnancy and child birth come up and it makes me so uncomfortable. I don't have those experiences and I want them desperately
  • trustinginduetimeGirl! I have to think on this. I feel like all my secrets are not secrets so hmmmm 🤔🤔🤔🤔
  • embracebraveryI don't go to church on Mother's Day, I stay off social on Mother's Day, Kids first day of school, Halloween, etc. basically anything they is a reminder how everyone has their prefect family. My newest secret is that for the first time I am thankful for infertility. That's not to say that I'm glad that I have infertility, as I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even people I'm not fond of. But without infertility, I would not have so many infertility sisters that I've met through friends, support group and a retreat. I'm so glad to know these women and witness how brave they are. Also because through this awful journey I know the Lord and trust Him in a completely new way.
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