dearjennaWeek Two. #2017positivity
I've been thinking about what I can take away from last year and move forward with this year. Where do I see myself professionally? What am I doing personally? Who did I think I was going to be at 26 when I was 16?
The most I can say is what I learned from a TED Talk from @coollike: I don't owe my past self anything.
Who knows if my 16 year old, anxious and depressed (but didn't know it), incredibly insecure, fumbling over herself, teenage catastrophe would have cared at all about who I am and what I'm doing now? I don't have the same ideals. I am not published in the New Yorker (yet?). I am not even still in Georgia.
But there are a lot of things that have happened in my life that are so much better. I work at Microsoft doing something that - even on my most frustrating days - I really love, with people I love. I am married to my best friend, a guy who I don't have to constantly work at getting along with or being with. We're just together and it's natural. I may not be published where I "dreamed" of being, but I have a running Xbox blog with a best friend and co-worker, and I am 35,000 words deep in a fiction novel, and constantly working on my New Journalism nonfiction pieces. I am healthy. I am happy. And on days like today, when I have to wake up at 7:45 a.m. for a dentist appointment, it gives me an excuse to go get coffee and a sandwich at my favorite places afterward, and I am reminded about how much I love this little town/city/thing that I live in. The roads and sidewalks are often very clean, pedestrians are everywhere with friends, kids or dogs, and I can safely go walking from the dentist to those downtown shops I love in the morning and have a trip like this one. It's a disgusting little postcard waiting to happen.
I am where I'm supposed to be, and I love where I am. And if my 16 year old self wouldn't be okay with that, maybe there's a reason she and I don't talk anymore. I've learned so much about myself and coexisting in this world, and the other day I realized I'm really close to 30, and that was a new, weird and cool feeling to have. I'm not that teenage catastrophe anymore.
- jew_withcatYou're beautiful and I looked up to you so much in college. I'm so glad to see you're doing wonderfully. 💕💕
- dearjenna@jew_withcat omg I'm blushing no. You did? I felt like I was all over the place when you met me, haha. I'm glad I kept it together for you! I miss you, beautiful girl.
- jenchandlerwashereYou beautiful soul! I cannot tell you how much this spoke to me today. I've been battling some "past demons" lately and I love what you said: I owe my past self nothing. I'd go further and say, "I owe no one from my past anything." We grow. We learn. We breathe and expand and here we are - you and me - where we need to be. Not where our younger self thought we'd be. Where we need to be. Oh, thank you! Keep at those essays and that novel. I look forward to reading them all one day 💕
- dearjenna@jenchandlerwashere Thank youuuu! I want you to know that I've always admired you. As a kid, as an adult. I think my Mamma's love for you greatly influenced that. Leave the past behind you. Grow. 💕💕💕💕
- crystallinecinemaWell said. Amen.
- jenchandlerwashere@dearjenna And now I'm crying happy, happy tears. Love you, Dear.
- nowherenomadYou are my special and favorite peanut-butter eating red-headed nerd! Hugs from S Ga (again)!
- dearjenna@nowherenomad I MISS YOUUUUU 😘😘😘
- nowherenomad@dearjenna dittoooooooooo
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